onlyeverdoubted | TLV Inbox

"If you insist."

He turns back to the bed, and drops down onto it, back first.

"It's not intolerable, your mattress. Far better than that chair."

"I just, you know, asked for... I can't take credit when..." This isn't quite Bodhi's usual nervous stammer. He's not cutting himself off so much as loosing threads to float off into nothing, preoccupied. There's something about seeing Hux stretched out in their--in a bed they intend to share. It's short circuiting anything else he tries to think about.

He doesn't seem to notice just yet, shrugging off his coat and wriggling to get a feel for the mattress in his shoulders.

"It's serviceable. The Admiral continues to be invasive enough to the point of memorizing the preferred mattress in my room."

He knows better than to suggest out loud that the concept of cuteness and the personage of Armitage Hux have anything to do with each other. Just one more thought to tuck away in a little twist of a flustered smile. The end of his ponytail twists between his fingers as he tries to figure out what amount of looking is weird. "That's... handy. Little creepy, but... Um, can't argue with the results."

"Mmn." He shuts his eyes, letting out a slow breath, in order to get a better feel for the room around him.

After a second he coaxes Huck up onto the bed, petting her as she sits beside him.

"Luxuries like this are...I suppose both a perk and a shameful indulgence still."

Bodhi finally quits hovering and sits down on the edge of the bed, still careful, though he's not sure what of. They're both here now, but it doesn't quite feel real yet. "If we work together, I bet we can, um, reconcile ourselves to the hedonism of... sleeping on a mattress."

He chuckles, still with his eyes closed.

"It's not just that. It's in a bed large enough for two, and a pet, and a warm, safe place. You don't realize how rare that is, some days."

Bodhi turns to look at him, still a bit stiff but feeling better that at least Hux isn't watching him behave like an idiot. "Maybe that's the ultimate luxury. Forgetting the rarity for a while." He's still babbling though, good.

Hux opens his eyes now, staring quietly at Bodhi before patting the other side of the bed, the side not occupied by the sprawling kitten.

"Come here, lie down."

Bodhi moves slowly because he's tempted to do quite the opposite. He'd always sort of assumed that only people in tawdry novels threw themselves at each other. A refuge in cliche for mediocre prose about not quite real feelings. But he'd like to now. Instead he stretches out next to Hux and honestly just means to take his hand. The sharp, tight, clinging hug is unplanned.

He makes a sound like the air swiftly escaped his lungs, surprised but not unwelcoming. Hux sets his hand on Bodhi's back between his shoulderblades, rubbing absently up and down.

His embarrassment finally loses out to the temptation to actually enjoy himself. He breathes out slowly, a soft little sigh just slipping out, and keeps clinging. "I, um, I- thank you."

"Please stop saying thank you. You don't have to every time someone shows you kindness." Hux grumbles, still with his eyes closed.

Bodhi considers, hesitates, takes a deep breath that's the more heartening for being against Hux's shoulder. He's about to try explaining an actual feeling and naming his own (already achieved) desires, and it's some effort. "Sor--i mean, let me try that again? I, um, I wanted this a lot, I probably n-never would have asked on my own, I mean, I wanted... to share my... my life with someone, like, in the-the abstract, but I never thought it would be building it around someone like this. I fell for you without even thinking it was possible anymore. For me, I mean, but also you're everything I want and I've never felt so much for anyone." Well, that was as messy as he'd expected.

That was probably the longest collection of words Hux has ever heard Bodhi say in context of their odd, homey relationship. He opens his eyes midway through to look over at the other, curious and with a warm feeling in the center of his heart.

Oh. This is what it's like to feel appreciated without being feared.

"I-I'm glad I could help." It was Hux's turn to stutter over his words.

Bodhi starts to look away and bury his face again, but he makes himself stop. He's still a bit uncertain, but he's now been ridiculous at length and there seem to be no negative consequences. "Just keep being you, I guess."

"Snide and aloof?" He jokes softly.

"Obviously." Bodhi shifts a bit to look up at him more easily, shifting his weight a little more onto Hux. "If you just want to be complimented for a bit, that's easy, I can do that."

He settles his hand back down to make sure Bodhi is comfortable.

"Much as my ego would like that, I don't think it lends itself well toward coming at this relationship as equals."

Bodhi considers this as levelly as he can, relaxing a bit more as this continues to somehow not blow up on him. "I don't know why. I mean, you said yourself, you like being flattered a bit. How's it different from bringing caf or book recommendations?"

"Indulge me. You rebels all like to preach about how you're equal to each other. Years of climbing the hierarchy have made lower ranks unappetizing to me. I do like being flattered, but..I don't know, I suppose I don't ever want you to feel like you have to in order to keep your position in this bed. Does that make sense?"

He suspects that explaining he was never a rebel again would be a bit of a wasted effort. Instead he nods shallowly, because any more of a gesture would involve digging his chin into Hux. "That's... not why I do it." His generalized dread of what happens when Hux realizes this is a ridiculous mistake notwithstanding, he doesn't really take specific actions to prevent it happening. "I just know you like it. And watching your reactions is kind of fun." Which sounds less diabolical than the rush of satisfaction that comes with, that little rush of power. "Same as shoulder rubs, finding animal related books on weird shelves, that kind of thing." Kriff, he's already made a fool of himself. "Stuff that makes you happy, because I like doing that?"

It's an odd feeling, having someone else care about his personal happiness. Hux is still getting used to caring about such trivial things himself.

He smiles, feeling strange about it, and pats Bodhi's shoulder from the arm that's being crushed underneath him.

"You're a soft thing, aren't you?"

It's too altogether lopsided a thought for Bodhi to reject it flatly like he would a compliment. But it's also clearly intended to be, well, soft in turn, and he has to think for a moment before he can manage an answer. "By nature, maybe? I... haven't had too many chances at it." He's careful about the phrasing. Yes, he came up in a hard world, but he had a much easier start than being raised as a human siege engine by a monster.

"I wonder what it's like. To just..live in someone else's world, see yourself through their eyes." He muses.

"This is a luxury to even think of this. I don't know if retirement is going to suit us."

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