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[onlyeverdoubted]

I'm just going to assume this is Hux, what do you need?

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[worstweasley]

He chuckles, still with his eyes closed.

"It's not just that. It's in a bed large enough for two, and a pet, and a warm, safe place. You don't realize how rare that is, some days."

[onlyeverdoubted]

Bodhi turns to look at him, still a bit stiff but feeling better that at least Hux isn't watching him behave like an idiot. "Maybe that's the ultimate luxury. Forgetting the rarity for a while." He's still babbling though, good.

[worstweasley]

Hux opens his eyes now, staring quietly at Bodhi before patting the other side of the bed, the side not occupied by the sprawling kitten.

"Come here, lie down."

[onlyeverdoubted]

Bodhi moves slowly because he's tempted to do quite the opposite. He'd always sort of assumed that only people in tawdry novels threw themselves at each other. A refuge in cliche for mediocre prose about not quite real feelings. But he'd like to now. Instead he stretches out next to Hux and honestly just means to take his hand. The sharp, tight, clinging hug is unplanned.

[worstweasley]

He makes a sound like the air swiftly escaped his lungs, surprised but not unwelcoming. Hux sets his hand on Bodhi's back between his shoulderblades, rubbing absently up and down.

[onlyeverdoubted]

His embarrassment finally loses out to the temptation to actually enjoy himself. He breathes out slowly, a soft little sigh just slipping out, and keeps clinging. "I, um, I- thank you."

[worstweasley]

"Please stop saying thank you. You don't have to every time someone shows you kindness." Hux grumbles, still with his eyes closed.

[onlyeverdoubted]

Bodhi considers, hesitates, takes a deep breath that's the more heartening for being against Hux's shoulder. He's about to try explaining an actual feeling and naming his own (already achieved) desires, and it's some effort. "Sor--i mean, let me try that again? I, um, I wanted this a lot, I probably n-never would have asked on my own, I mean, I wanted... to share my... my life with someone, like, in the-the abstract, but I never thought it would be building it around someone like this. I fell for you without even thinking it was possible anymore. For me, I mean, but also you're everything I want and I've never felt so much for anyone." Well, that was as messy as he'd expected.

[worstweasley]

That was probably the longest collection of words Hux has ever heard Bodhi say in context of their odd, homey relationship. He opens his eyes midway through to look over at the other, curious and with a warm feeling in the center of his heart.

Oh. This is what it's like to feel appreciated without being feared.

"I-I'm glad I could help." It was Hux's turn to stutter over his words.

[onlyeverdoubted]

Bodhi starts to look away and bury his face again, but he makes himself stop. He's still a bit uncertain, but he's now been ridiculous at length and there seem to be no negative consequences. "Just keep being you, I guess."

[worstweasley]

"Snide and aloof?" He jokes softly.

[onlyeverdoubted]

"Obviously." Bodhi shifts a bit to look up at him more easily, shifting his weight a little more onto Hux. "If you just want to be complimented for a bit, that's easy, I can do that."

[worstweasley]

He settles his hand back down to make sure Bodhi is comfortable.

"Much as my ego would like that, I don't think it lends itself well toward coming at this relationship as equals."

[onlyeverdoubted]

Bodhi considers this as levelly as he can, relaxing a bit more as this continues to somehow not blow up on him. "I don't know why. I mean, you said yourself, you like being flattered a bit. How's it different from bringing caf or book recommendations?"

[worstweasley]

"Indulge me. You rebels all like to preach about how you're equal to each other. Years of climbing the hierarchy have made lower ranks unappetizing to me. I do like being flattered, but..I don't know, I suppose I don't ever want you to feel like you have to in order to keep your position in this bed. Does that make sense?"

[onlyeverdoubted]

He suspects that explaining he was never a rebel again would be a bit of a wasted effort. Instead he nods shallowly, because any more of a gesture would involve digging his chin into Hux. "That's... not why I do it." His generalized dread of what happens when Hux realizes this is a ridiculous mistake notwithstanding, he doesn't really take specific actions to prevent it happening. "I just know you like it. And watching your reactions is kind of fun." Which sounds less diabolical than the rush of satisfaction that comes with, that little rush of power. "Same as shoulder rubs, finding animal related books on weird shelves, that kind of thing." Kriff, he's already made a fool of himself. "Stuff that makes you happy, because I like doing that?"

[worstweasley]

It's an odd feeling, having someone else care about his personal happiness. Hux is still getting used to caring about such trivial things himself.

He smiles, feeling strange about it, and pats Bodhi's shoulder from the arm that's being crushed underneath him.

"You're a soft thing, aren't you?"

[onlyeverdoubted]

It's too altogether lopsided a thought for Bodhi to reject it flatly like he would a compliment. But it's also clearly intended to be, well, soft in turn, and he has to think for a moment before he can manage an answer. "By nature, maybe? I... haven't had too many chances at it." He's careful about the phrasing. Yes, he came up in a hard world, but he had a much easier start than being raised as a human siege engine by a monster.

[worstweasley]

"I wonder what it's like. To just..live in someone else's world, see yourself through their eyes." He muses.

"This is a luxury to even think of this. I don't know if retirement is going to suit us."

[onlyeverdoubted]

Bodhi frowns a little, feeling remiss. Hux has carefully teased out of him what he wants, in fits and starts and little reveries, but he's been too timid to ask the same questions back. He's not going to argue Hux out of thinking of anything but the bare necessities of survival as luxuries, even the victimless hedonism of enjoying each other's company. "Do... do you want to? I mean, you got it out of me--" And then they babbled about rain and noodles and crumbling mansions for a while. "What's your perfect life?"

[worstweasley]

"I don't know." He admits. "I used to believe it was at the head of an army, reforming the galaxy. I still would like to do that. There's a lot of clean-up and assuming nothing goes to hell, maybe I'd like to take my soldiers to begin the repopulation process of planets. Assuming I'm not caught and either overthrown or put to death by whatever inane government steps forward to replace to New Republic."

[onlyeverdoubted]

He envies that clarity of purpose, even if it wasn't exactly what he was thinking. "I wish I was as sure as that," he says quietly, afraid as always of pushing. "Though that sounds a lot like politics for someone who hates politics." The teasing is gentle. Sometimes getting a bit of a rise out of Hux's dignity is funny, but not now.

[worstweasley]

"I hate others mucking up politics far more than I hate politics itself."

It's a clear distinction, Bodhi, jeez.

[onlyeverdoubted]

"Right, right." Bodhi props himself up a little on one elbow, a sacrifice of closeness that probably leaves Hux feeling a little less squished. Easier to watch his reactions, though. And it feels very weird to not only be making eye contact on purpose but being... minimally nervous about it. "So... that's what you want to do. But what do the days look like? I mean, I know cats are there, but...?" What's his sound of rain from inside a cozy house?

[worstweasley]

He eyes Bodhi as he shifts up, raising his eyebrows.

"What makes you think I've planned that far?"